One thing you’ll probably notice about me is that I wear a lot of make up. Like I don’t cake it on just for the sake of wearing it, I’m definitely not the type of person to let my false lashes see daylight (to be honest I only wear them for incredibly special occasions like my school balls)…
"You Look Disturbing With a Mustache but Hot With a Beard", the guide to modern men.
our love scares people,
and it’d scare me as well.
but I’d rather have you
and damn us to hell.
the government says
our love isn’t real.
and that’s only because
it’s a secret we won’t reveal.
And she fell
A discarded bloom
Petals wind-tangled around stems
Weeping, as flowers
plucked from tender beds
have the tendency to do.
And she lay
The picture of loveliness
and the time before the fall.
I wrote this a while ago as what was going to be an ongoing series. I’ve watched a fair bit of How I Met Your Mother in my time. I don’t even know if this makes sense but have at it anyway.
I’m assuming that I have forced you to grow up watching the classics likeFriends and every Disney movie under the sun (also Harry Potter, but I don’t think that’s relevant to this as I never really got the whole Harry/Ginny thing. Nothing against them as a couple, it’s just that what makes Harry Potter great isn’t his love for his girlfriend, it’s pretty much everything else in the book).
This solid grounding of reliving my childhood and formative teen years should give you a basis for what true love is and the merits of finding it. I encourage you to do so, but maybe take a more realistic view of things. If there’s ever an advocate for not living in the real world, it would be me. I would love to be able to just walk through the universes which house my favourite books/movies/shows for the rest of eternity. Become like an OC or something and worm my way into the plot. That would be the best thing ever. But I also came to the crushing realisation early on that this is not physically possible and also that boys in real life are not like boys in my favourite books/movies/shows.
Here’s the deal; you’re not going to find that one person that you just click with and have that instantaneous Disney love that lasts for longer than for-eeee-veeeeeeeeer… I’m not being pessimistic here, just hear me out okay? You will find your other half. I truly believe in that. I think one of the most profound moments of my life was when I heard the story about how humans originally had four arms and two legs and two heads but then Zeus or someone cut them in half and now we wander around searching for the person who will complete us. That is beautiful and I honestly truly feel in my soul that someday this will happen. But I think it’s a bit more complicated than two puzzle pieces snapping together.
My theory on it is that the halves of humanity (that’s us individuals floating around out there) are kind of like enzymes. I’m not going to go into it in great detail (it’s late, I’m tired) but basically there’s a lock and key theory about enzymes that has to do with DNA synthesis/replication. First of all, there’s all these enzymes and substrates bumping around into each other. When the right shaped substrate meets the right shaped enzyme, they lock into place and stay together until their function is complete. For some people this function might be having kids, or just a time period at the end of which they can no longer be together so they separate. (It’s kind of a good analogy the more I think about it, because the substrate changes into a different product once the reaction takes place, and I think that’s kind of true for people and relationships too.)
One day, you will meet your substrate or your enzyme, depending on which part of the reaction you are in this scenario. When you meet this person, and you fit your soul with theirs, I hope it makes you the happiest you have ever been. I hope you have that deep, irrevocable love. I hope you find the Ross to your Rachel (or vice versa), the Jack to your Rose (minus the tragedy), the Flynn Rider/Eugene FItzherbert to your Rapunzel. Or actually, the Kristoff to your Anna. Kristoff is awesome.
I hope that until you find this person, you’re brave like Merida and you chase your own convictions over what everyone else is trying to force you into. I hope that you value yourself more than any suitors, and that you never try and please me by bringing someone home (also please don’t turn me into a bear, I’m awkward enough as a human). I hope that you know who you are by yourself before you know who you are in a relationship, so that you can be who you are by yourself while you’re in a relationship.
Just please, please, PLEASE do not settle for a Gaston. Or a Hans. Or an Emily (Friends reference in case you were confused). Don’t try to force it. Don’t assume that just because you can love, you should. I’m not saying stay single forever and pass everyone over because they aren’t good enough for you. But just be aware that if, as Mary Lambert says, love is patient and kind, then it will find its way to you. Everything has a time and a place, and someday it will be YOUR time and THE place for something a little bit magical to happen. So go out and live. Meet people. Make mistakes. Become you before you worry about who you are with someone else. And above all else know that you are loved and you always will be loved, simply because you are you.